Lost in Translation

Zoom meetings at work aren't usually the most entertaining moments of my day, especially the ones put on by the Business Office.  It's even less interesting to me, when the meetings are conducted in Bahasa Indonesia and I can barely understand a word.

At a meeting earlier this week on our new procurement policies, which in any language or dialect would be tedious, I was greeted with the wonderful news that English speakers like me would be able to follow the speaker's narration in real time.  Subtitles would be provided in the bottom left-hand corner of the screen.

As you can see from the screenshots below, the entire presentation ended up being completely lost in translation. Not that I minded at all, because the wildly inaccurate translations themselves were so much more entertaining than any procurement policy meeting could have been otherwise.  Now I hope every meeting, whether in English or in Bahasa Indonesia, will come along with these delightfully insane subtitles for my viewing pleasure. In the meantime, IT investigates what bizarre glitch caused this predicament. (Look in the bottom left-hand corner of each screen for the crazy translations!)

Evidently some units at Sampoerna are procuring guinea pigs, little did I know.

The head of our Business Office seems to be identifying as a potato.  Now needs to inform us if she is he/she/it/ or they. 

We are partners with Broward University and students can order Broward transcripts of their academic work. Didn't realize it was such a painful process.  Or maybe it's not? 

So, that's the fun the Business Office has after work! Never knew it.

This message I never did completely decipher.  I would like to know when the Indian Online Teams meet.  And who is "Daddy"?

So, I remain lost in translation, but considering the subject matter, the crazy translation will probably be equally as useful to me as a literal translation would have been.